For You, Dad

A Terrible Loss:

Dad FishingOn June 16, 2013, I lost my father to cancer. It was Father’s Day: My first Father’s Day, and his last.

I’ve experienced death several times in my life. I’m familiar with the process, and a advocate for the expression: “Don’t focus on how they died. Remember how they lived.”  With my father, this is no different. He was a wonderful man, who created an incredible life filled with love, family, and lots of laughter. I always remember how he lived. But I can’t forget how he died.

I’m not prepared (or even sure if I ever will be) to discuss all of the intimate details surrounding my father’s passing. But what I can say is that it was nothing short of terrible. It was not a peaceful transition, and I can still hear his screams of pain and see the fear on his face.

It bothers me. It bothers me that a man so filled with love, joy, and jokes could be taken from this world in such a cruel way. It bothers me that my father is not the only one to leave this world in such a terrible fashion. It bothers me when people say “that’s just the way things are,” or “it was God’s will.” It bother’s me that we simply accept these aspects of life as normal, and to question them borders lunacy.

If this is “just how things are,” then I hate them. If this is “God’s will,” then I hate him. People die. Children suffer. Wars happen. Famine occurs. WHY?

Greed. Money. Power. Control. – NO!

We let it happen.

We can’t do anything about it. We are powerless. There is nothing anyone can do.FALSE! That is the illusion, and we have come to embrace it.

Since my father’s passing, I have not been able to shake these thoughts that race through my mind. I’ve drowned in sadness, been lost in depression, and felt enraged with an anger that burned furiously throughout my entire body. I am asking those questions that border lunacy. I am asking those questions that “aren’t supposed to be answered,” because nobody deserves to die in such a fashion. Nobody deserves to suffer.

I may not have the answer, but I have found a possible solution. We need to take a better look at ourselves. We need to know who we are. We need to understand our relationship to this Earth and the universe that surrounds us. I believe that in finding such understanding, we can learn to prevent such suffering. But we need to look within; openly and free from judgment, fear, and dogma. I invite you to join me, in hopes of creating a better world together, free from suffering and hatred.

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Final Cover I Am Human