A Message in the Night

I Am Human & We Are Not Who We Think We Are, by Dennis Nappi II (c) 2015

On July 13, 2009, I found myself fighting to fall asleep. My mind raced in a dizzying circle as thoughts blended into a downloaded mess of garbled data. Things I read, experiences I had, and new thoughts I never had before swam in a chaotic soup of mind. My chest burned as if an open wound was absorbing everything around me. The thoughts that raced through my head, however, were different. They were feelings that originated in that burning storm within my chest and resonated throughout my body. My mind then worked to turn those feelings into thoughts and words I could understand. The problem was, there was too much information in my head and it was flowing too fast for me to process. My intuition was on overload, forcing me into a specific direction of pensive understanding. I felt as if I understood, but when I tried to think about what I was feeling, nothing made any sense. Finally around 2:00 a.m., I gave into the struggle. Sleep was avoiding me and I knew if I didn’t make sense of the chaos in my mind that I may never sleep again. 

It’s all connected. We are not what we think we are. They are out there. Food. Prisoners. Religion. Spirituality. It all serves a purpose, but we have failed to recognize what that is.

My mind continued to spin as I jumped out of bed and hurried down the hall to my home office. I grabbed a pen and began scribbling my thoughts as they came to me, and to my surprise, instead of a garbled mess of random information, the confusion poured through my pen in a logical, coherent format. Five-and-a-half pages later, I had a document that not only expressed so much of what I was feeling, but presented me with an understanding of something I had questioned my entire life. It started me on a journey of insight into who we are, and what we have become.

There is a connection between everything in existence; a force that flows through all things. Life is bountiful and beautiful, but requires the very essence of life to survive. In order to sustain life, the consumption of life is needed. This was made quite clear to me as I transcribed this essay, and my reflection of it was terrifying.

Through my explanation, I came to understand that humans were no different than other lifeforms. We depend on life in order to sustain our own existence. We raise livestock and grow crops only to slaughter and consume them. With this understanding, my concept of good and evil changed. To a chicken, we must seem like horrible, devilish ghouls, but to the family dog we must seem like loving, caring members of the pack. This was not what terrified me, however. My fear grew from the realization of the possibility that although we may believe we are the lords of this world, our existence may serve a much darker agenda to a force hidden from our awareness, as food for something else…

Click to read Chapter 3: Them